Monday, June 26, 2017

Lyn Balfour Statement on Death of Her Son in Car

thermometer in hot car





The following is an interview that took places several years after the death of her son.  

Gross Negligence:  

Question for Analysis:  Is she honest about not knowing there was a phone call from the babysitter?

Did she willfully ignore the call, or, as she claimed, did she not know it came through?


'I Left My Baby in a Hot Car': One Mom Shares Her Tragic Story







How do you leave a child in a hot car? It's a question every parent has asked at one time or another -- usually sparked by a headline about a child dying in a vehicle somewhere in the United States. Lyn Balfour has asked the question too. She's asked the question about herself.
The 13-year veteran of the US Army, member of the Army Reserves, and mother of five -- including three children 6 and under -- left her son Bryce in her car on March 30, 2007. By the time she realized her mistake, her 9-month-old son was dead.
After being charged with his death and later being found not guilty, Balfour has became a fierce advocate for educating parents on these accidental tragedies. She spoke with The Stir about the day her son died, and what kind of mom leaves a child in a hot car:

Can you walk me through that day?

This is akin to "tell me what happened that day." 

This particular week, my husband had accidentally backed into my sister's car in the driveway, so her car was in the shop and she was using my husband's. So, he was riding with me to work, and I was dropping him off first and then the baby 

The account does not begin "that day", but she does not reflect back the language of the interviewer with "that day."  This takes extra effort. 

In this verbalized perception of reality, the death of the victim began "that week", not that day. 

Here we also note the first reference to the victim, who is "the baby" here.  

This particular week, my son Bryce had been really fussy. 

Here is a good social introduction.  It includes the victim's name, title and status in relation to the subject.  This came after the introduction of "the baby", which is unusual.

Note that the subject is being interviewed about the death of her child and here begins by complaining about the child.  

Where the subject began is important and the subject's linguistic disposition about the victim is important.  

She next gives us specific details as to his behavior:  


He had a bad head cold, wasn't sleeping well because he couldn't suck on his pacifier at the same time, so he kept waking up.
The first three nights of the week, I had gotten up with him the majority of the night, and I was exhausted

We are now beginning to see how the death of the victim was not "that day" but began earlier.  

Instead of simply saying, "I forgot he was in the car", or even "I forgot because I was exhausted", the subject goes back in time to begin her statement and sets a reason about herself.  

Here is why the dating is important: 


That last night

There is a culmination of events leading to the victim's death. 

1.  He was fussy
2.  I was tired 


my husband agreed to get up with him, but then he couldn't find his pacifier in his bed. 

"agreed" suggests disagreement, negotiation.  

Bryce went ballistic, woke up completely, and then I got up, was up with him for another hour and a half to two hours.

The expected of mothers who have lost children is consistently the same:  the lofty almost "angelic" like status of the victim.  

This is not what we find here. 

The expectation is also consistent:  mothers blame themselves even when no blame should be assigned.  

They care more about what the victim went through than their own status. 

The emphasis here is not the day of his death, but the week that she suffered through.  

An example of this is when a teenager went missing and was found murdered.  Her father, who was her protector, blamed himself as years earlier, he moved the family to a state where she was murdered.  Self blame is the norm. 

"I should have seen the signs"
"I should have done this differently..."

Here we have an entire alibi set up to distance herself from her action that led to the victim's death. 

What is wrong about complaining about the victim?

Guilt seeks to alleviate itself and can be so subtle as to attempt to justify action by showing a negative status of the victim.  

"The baby would not stop crying" or "he would not eat..." is heard in Shaken Baby deaths.  


That was about 5 o'clock in the morning. I had to be up at 6:30 in order to get ready for work. I didn't actually get up until 7:15 because I was exhausted.

The initial thought in my mind was just to call in, stay home with Bryce because he was just very lethargic, he wasn't being normal because he was really tired too. But I had appointments that day -- at the  school, students were graduating and I had no way to call the students that I had appointments with. I was like, you know what? It's Friday, I've just got to get through today and I can sleep tomorrow.

That particular morning, Jarrett got Bryce ready. He went to get in the vehicle, but before I came outside we were talking about a spare car seat that we could not get into the car correctly. He had been in the car seat for a couple of weeks, but it just wasn't sitting as secure as we felt it should be so we took that car seat out and put it in his old car seat.

Context:  The subject brings up a topic of a difficulty in the interview about her child's death.  

The difficulty is the "spare car seat" not fitting properly.  

Note:  Only a "good parent" would care that the car seat fit perfectly in.  

That particular day, he said, "When are you going to get the car seat put in?" I said, "Put it in the car today, and I will go to like the fire department and get them to put it in correctly at lunch time."
He put the spare car seat in the car behind the front passenger seat in my field of view, and that car seat was empty. The other car seat, which is the car seat Bryce was in, when he put him in he put it behind my seat, the driver's seat.

In the account of the death of her child, this is a lot of detail about a car seat that was not used.  

Here is a dramatic change in language and a dramatic shift away from maternal instinct:  

On the way to work ... we don't remember hearing him. We don't remember talking with him or him cooing or anything like he normally would. We just assume it was because he was really tired.


There are several points here to note:

1.  In an open statement when one tells us what is not remembered, it is a signal of missing information.

2.  This signal of missing information's sensitivity is made even higher as she does not own it for herself, but uses the pronoun "we."

3.  Note the need to tell what someone else remembers, what someone else does not remember

4.  Note the need to report what is "normally" done. 

Consider what took place before this rule of the negative:

She has complained about the victim
She has repeatedly told what she went through
She has repeated her status of exhaustion.  

I dropped my husband off, and shortly after that I got a phone call from work, from a co-worker. It was the first sergeant of the school very upset because we were honoring a fallen soldier from Iraq, his family was supposed to be coming in from California and the tickets had not been purchased through the travel agent that the military uses.

Here, the mother of the victim slows down an already slow pace, with unnecessary details that would need to persuade us that she was not only distracted but details on who distracted her and what was used to distract her. 

All in an account of her child's death.  

This is a very strong example of one who has a need to persuade.  



Lyn and Jarrett BalfourThat was my area of responsibility -- I was transportation officer for the JAG school. I immediately got on the phone, started making phone calls, called the family that was waiting at the airport, talked to the gate agent, said please don't let the plane go, this is very important for this family to get on the flight.

Is this while you were still driving?

Yes, when I was on my way to work.
In my mind, I'd already made a stop, baby's dropped off. I passed right by where I would normally turn left to drop Bryce off to daycare.

Before I got to work, I got things resolved. I got ahold of the travel agent, they paged the tickets, everything.

I got to work, got out of the car and went into work like normal...

The subject wishes to portray this as normal; a signal that she knows it was anything but normal.  It is not that leaving a baby is "normal" that is conquering: 

It is the need to convince the audience of such that is a red flag.  

I get a phone call about 10:30 in the morning from the babysitter asking how Bryce was doing that day.

This is a very straight forward statement:  she got a phone call at the time stated, by whom she claimed, and about what she claimed.  

Note she does not say "she called me twice" or "I had a missed call."  She is in experiential memory language and she is telling the truth.  We should believe her.  

This is not a statement of missing a call; but a statement of fact.  There are so many other ways one would describe this including,
"I had a missed call from 10:30 that morning" which would place her:

a.  hours later (4pm)
b.  looking back (appropriately)

Instead, she placed herself, linguistically, in the knowledge of the call. 

This is an indicator of guilty knowledge of the call at the time it came in.  

Here, with this in mind, note what comes next:  

 The problem was I didn't get the phone call because she called my personal cellphone because the Friday before she had gotten a brand new cellphone and didn't have any of my work contact information in her phone.

This is extremely sensitive information and likely something where there is not only missing information, but information a prosecutor used.  The need to explain "why" in two locations very quickly, is something that must be explored for deception.  

That was communication failure number one.

The blaming of communication is void of personal responsibility.  This is not consistent with maternal instinct. 


The second thing was that in her file in her home she had all our contact information, my work cellphone number, my work office number, my husband's work office number but she just naturally assumed -- because it had happened in the past -- that I stayed home and he wasn't feeling well.

Note the blame shifted to the babysitter using the wrong number, but then shifted to being such a diligent worker but great mother who usually stays home with her sick child.  This is all part of her necessary portrayal of self.  

Question:  where this hyper sensitivity exists, is there deception?

Answer:  We listen for the subject to guide us.  

She didn't think to continue to communication, not thinking that he was accidentally not dropped off.

What time frame was this when she made the call?

10:30 in the morning.
I wasn't in the office when she called, but around 2 p.m., I pulled my cellphone personal cellphone out of my purse and I saw a missed call from her.

Deception Indicated. 

Here the subject tells us

1.  Where she wasn't 
2.   Where her phone was
3.  The physical action of pulling out the phone 

This is likely the missing information where you see the two blue colorings above.  


She had called me twice that morning. She called that first time and left a message and then she called again. It said missed call, but it never told me there was a message available.

Now she gives additional information in going back in time:  it was not just that the babysitter called to check on the well being of the child, but that the babysitter called twice. 

"it said missed call but it never told me..." 

"it" is to blame here. 



At 2:30, I saw the missed call, I called her back, and I left her a message. She'd taken her other daycare kids to McDonald's as a treat, and around 2:30 she was still out ... So, I called and left a message ... she called me back when she saw a missed call from me at about 10 to 4.

I was just walking out of my office because we'd been given an hour out early. She asked me how Bryce was doing, and I was like "what do you mean?"
I didn't understand. I said, "Did Jarrett pick him up early?" not thinking that he didn't have a car because I had dropped him off.
She's like no, he's not here. She began to panic because I was so adamant that he was there.
Then, she turned around and she's like, "No Lyn, you didn't drop him off."
The whole morning flashes through my mind, and I can remember dropping him off. I can remember having a conversation with her. And that memory never happened. That conversation never happened. 
At this point, I panic. I ran to the car because I couldn't believe there was a possibility he could still be in the car and then I saw him in the car.


When you found him, what did you see?
He was in the backseat, he was hooked in, and he was not responsive. He was not breathing.
Bryce BalfourWhat did you do?
I started screaming and said, "Please somebody call 911!" And then -- even though I was extremely hysterical -- it's kind of hard to explain but my military training kind of took over.
I unhooked him, pulled him out of the car, ran around to the other side of the car, laid him on the ground, and started CPR.
What was the temperature that day?
The high that day was 66 degrees.
Do they know what that translates to in the car?
I don't recall specifically what the temperature was in the vehicle -- they took the measurement at 4:30 in the afternoon, but I think it was around 100 degrees. It was too hot for the child to be in the car, obviously.
It was only 39 degrees when we left the house that morning ... he probably passed away later in the morning or early afternoon because it was so cold that day, but on an 80-degree day, a child can die in 30 minutes or less.
The degrees once you turn off a vehicle can go up 10 degrees every 5 minutes, and children under a certain age do not have the type of temperature control that adults have. 
Obviously you're very educated about this now, but before this happened, did you know any of this?
No. And the thing now, which is why I'm an advocate, is because when they told me they couldn't save him, I said to myself, "How can I forget my kid? I can manage $47 million for the US military with every penny accounted for, and I was awarded a Bronze Star for those efforts, but how can I forget my kid? How can a loving, responsible, detail-oriented parent forget him, something so precious, something so valuable?"
I started educating myself and doing research on why it was possible and how it was possible.
The more research I did, the more I learned ... we have educated ourselves on babyproofing our home, but we do not educate ourselves on babyproofing our vehicles and that's what we need to do.
Unlike some parents I was absolutely blessed to have the opportunity to hold my son one last time and tell him goodbye, and I made a promise to him that no matter how painful it would be to go through my story over and over and over again if just one parent listens and understood about the dangers and educated themselves and took the prevention measures for vehicles ... his death would be worth it.
It would be worth losing a child to save 100. No parent wants to feel like I do every day, to be responsible for your own child's death
While you were there holding him, who responded?
The police and ambulance arrived.
What happened then?
They took over; they're more professional than I am.
They wouldn't let me ride in the back of the ambulance while they were working on him, but I rode up in front with the driver, and I called my husband and told him he had to get to the hospital right away because there was an accident, I forgot him in the car.
He didn't really understand because I was hysterical.
They took him into a room and were working on him while I was in the waiting room of the hospital and one of the doctors came in and said it wasn't looking good. I started praying to God to just take me.
Then maybe about 10 minutes later ... it seemed like a lifetime ... they came in and told me they couldn't save him.
I was hysterical, and all I could think of was how am I going to tell my husband that I killed his son?
What happened when your husband did get there?
The first sergeant of the school told my husband the news. She is a pastor at a church, and she was probably the best person to be able to tell him.
He came in and he was really upset and he was crying. I told him I was so sorry I forgot him.
They probably would not have let us see him and I don't even know if I would have been in the state of mind to ask to hold him one last time, but my husband said, "I want to see him, I want to see my son."
So, they escorted us into the room to see him one last time.
It was completely unbelievable and shocking to have to leave that hospital without him.
When you left the hospital, did you go home or were the police already there?
I got to go home, but the lead investigator on the case, they interviewed me at the hospital. I don't remember that at all.
That was on a Friday. I didn't talk to the police again until they arraigned me. That following Monday, I woke up and my mom and everybody got down there on Saturday and Sunday. They recommended that I get an attorney. I called a couple of attorneys to see what I would need to do.
The interesting thing was the lead investigator on the case walked in to the hospital that same day and told the first responders on the case, "OK, you guys go ahead and write your statements because we're going to charge her for everything you can."
He had not spoken to me and he had not spoken to my husband when he made that statement. So he already had his pre-formed opinion that I was guilty and they were going to go after me, and he was the one who set the tone for the case....
Nobody ever gets arraigned on a Saturday unless you're slapped with handcuffs and taken to jail, but they waited until the day of my son's funeral on a Friday to tell me they were arraigning me on charges the next day. Forty minutes after my son's funeral was over, I was at my house and the attorney I had spoken to, they called her and told her that I was going to be arraigned the following day.
I was really upset, and I was just like .... we're not going to be able to put our lives back together as a family, we have to go immediately into defense mode. My son died on the 30th of March. My husband left on the 21st of June to deploy to Iraq as a government contractor for 18 months in order to cover my attorney fees which ended up being $126,000.
What was the charge?
The initial charge was second degree murder and felony child abuse and neglect. They later amended that dropping the abuse and neglect and reducing the second degree to involuntary manslaughter.
Here in Virginia, it says willful act or admission. That was not the case. I didn't knowingly do that.
How long did the whole thing drag out? Did they put you through a long trial?
He died in March; I was charged the following week. The trial was like the 28th of January 2008. 
What was it like trying to grieve your child's death and on the other hand you don't know what's going to happen?
My perspective on it's a little different from other people. The thing I was worried about was my family -- my husband, my son who was at the time 14. That's who I was worried about, that's who I was stressed about it. 
My husband was getting ready to deploy, my son was trying to deal with the loss of his only sibling and his mom was facing 10 to 25 years in jail.
The thing is, I've been to a lot of place in the military that a lot of people, you see and experience things, like Bosnia. You talk to war victims and people who have gone through devastating things. I've been out in the middle of the desert during Desert Storm, and I had to go to the bathroom in a hole that I had to dig and bury.
Going to jail and sitting in a jail cell with three meals a day to me is not hell, and that's what I don't think that prosecuting attorneys and them ... they don't understand.
When they punish you for a crime they think you committed, it's supposed to be a deterrent, but how do you deter someone from accidentally forgetting your kid?
This has happened to a mathematical genius. This has happened to a NASA scientist. It has happened to a pediatrician. It's happened to numerous university professors. It's happened to the poor. It's happened to rich people. It's happened to middle class. It doesn't matter.
I explain to people who try to tell me they couldn't be that irresponsible, I was one of those parents. I had heard stories about that happening, and I said that could never happen to me, I'm not an irresponsible parent, that's got to be somebody who didn't do the right thing. That cannot be me.
I have found out it absolutely can be me, and that's why I educate. 
The reality is our brains don't differentiate between a child, a purse, a cellphone, a pair of glasses. It doesn't matter.
How do you tell parents to get past that though? If parents are stuck on that idea of "I'd never do that to my child," how do you get them past that and into actually being proactive?
If people say they can never do it, I give them examples:
I know plenty of people who take medication every day. If you didn't take that medication but you swear up and down that you did, it's call mis-remembering.
If that's happened to you, you can forget your child.
If you've ever driven anywhere, and you can't remember how you got there, that's a function of your brain going on auto-pilot. If that's ever happened to you, you can forget your child.

I give these examples because people will say, "Oh, that didn't happen to me, that didn't happen to me, OH, wait a minute, that has happened to me."
If you've ever forgotten your cellphone, your pager, your wallet, your keys, your sunglasses, and you swear you know where you put them but they are not there, and you find them in a completely different location, you can accidentally forget your child.
Do you think these examples you've found out about and this research has helped you forgive yourself?
Well ... that's an interesting question. I don't feel like I need to forgive myself. I do acknowledge and have to deal with the responsibility of forgetting my son.
But I feel like parents that do this intentionally -- they leave their kids in the car and they go somewhere, like one parent, a veterinarian, she has to deal with the fact that she went into the house and got distracted on the phone and forgot her son was in the car. She has to deal with that. That to me is like I feel you have to ask for forgiveness.
But for me, when I got out of the car that day, my son was exactly where he was supposed to be.
What I have to come to terms with, and this is what is really hard for me -- because my son usually took his first bottle in the morning at the babysitter's. Because it was so cool that morning, at some point at time he woke up because he was hungry and was in the car by himself.
That's what I have to deal with -- not being there for him.
There's nothing to forgive, but I will be accountable, I am absolutely accountable for his death. That's what I have to deal with. Can you say that that's forgiveness or not forgiveness? I don't really know. But for me the problem is that I should have been the type of parent that knew  about these dangers and made sure there were steps in place to prevent that.
It sucks. It sucks every day.
It's something that you have to live with.
I'm accountable every day. I miss him every day. He would be 8 years old today. I'll never see him grow up. I'll never see him graduate from school. I'll never see his children.

How did your family move on? How did things work with you and your husband?

He was angry for awhile but not necessarily at me. He was angry because our son was gone and there was nothing he could do about it.
Unbelievably he and I became stronger and talked about it and learned to work through it and he knew it was an accident. He knew I would never leave my children in the car, not even for a second.
It was hard for awhile to talk about him without crying. I do feel like it was a blessing in disguise that my husband was deployed except for coming home for the trial.
He was not home for any of that, so I feel like it was beneficial that he was out of the country so he didn't have to go through that.

How did you decide to try again, to have kids again?

Again, it's about love and trust. He knew I would never intentionally hurt one of our children and we just didn't not try.
The interesting thing that happened was he was going to be gone for a year and a half to Iraq. Originally it was just a year ... my husband is seven and a half years younger than me, so when I had Bryce I was 31, and so I wasn't getting any younger so to speak.
We knew he was going to be gone for a year, and we talked to a counselor, we talked to our pastor and said when is an appropriate time to grieve? When is an appropriate time to have another baby?
What our pastor said and what our counselors said was when you feel like you can, there's nothing wrong with trying. 
Bryce passed away in March. We ended up getting pregnant with Braiden in September/October, somewhere around in there.
We talked about it, and I asked him if he wanted to try, and I think that was part of the healing process -- that he was so willing to have children with me, even though we were hurting and we were grieving the loss of our son.
That for me was the most telling part of it, that he forgave me.
I do think that Braiden's birth helped us to continue to heal because it pulled us away from the loss that we felt

By the time Braiden was born, had you been found not guilty?

Yes, the trial was only like three days.
Teddy Bear in CarYou have different ways you talk to parents about recognizing they can be at risk, but what do you actually tell parents to DO?

The best tool that I can provide to them is to go to the Kids and Cars website, and what I tell them is to get in the habit of babyproofing your vehicles ...
Put a stuffed animal in the vehicle, and always, always, if you have one or 50 children, if there's a child in the car, put that animal up front with you or put something in the backseat that you're going to need when you get out of the car. I don't like that idea as much as the stuffed animal up front because you can forget your cellphone that you need and you remember 30 minutes later ... and you're in the same situation.

We've started a campaign called Look Before You Lock, so you ALWAYS get in the habit of opening the back door and looking before you lock the door.


How do you deal with the criticism and with being so public?

Because I made him a promise, and nobody can judge me more than I do myself. Nobody. It doesn't matter what they say, the harsh things. I've been told you need to be locked in a hot car and allowed to die the same way your son did, you need to have your uterus ripped out, you should never be allowed to have children again, the list goes on and on.
But none of them know me. They don't know anything about the type of person I am, what type of a mother I am.
If you don't know the type of person I am, how can you judge me?

These are not the words of an innocent mother. Innocent mothers take all blame and far more blame than deserved.  This is a self defending stance that is necessary due to the critical decision she made in not taking that call, nor in even checking up on her son of whom she reported was sick and fussy.  

The victim was not the priority of the day, as seen in the language.  

In her linguistic perception of reality, his death began a week earlier.  

Please note, she did not include drinking of beer on the night before his death and asked her friend not to report this to police.   


Analysis Conclusion:  The subject is not honest about the phone call at 10:30AM. 

She chose to ignore it, as the prosecution stated, because of prioritizing her job.  "She put herself in a situation where she was able to forget her infant," Prosecutor Killeen told the jurors. Even with the stress and tension at work, "You still have to take care of your children," she said.
"Ms. Balfour doesn't get a pass because she did this to her own child as opposed to someone else's child," continued Killeen, calling Balfour's actions "gross, wanton, and culpable neglect."

To this, the words of the subject agreed.  She chose to ignore the call deliberately, that would have saved the child's life.  

Her defensive posture is acute and not consistent with innocent mothers' statements.  

The defense said:  Zwerling offered another angle.
"She came to believe she'd dropped him off," he said. "Bryce was in a place where he was safe, sound, and happy, so she didn't have to worry. Not remembering is easy to understand when she believed he was at daycare."

The problem  here is that the subject spent a great deal of time describing how Bryce was not sound and not happy, leaving the position of mother to be one of worry and concern over her child.  She then reports of a babysitter who was concerned, and how she, herself, did not even call the daycare to see how the child was.  

This is negligence. 


 The question of the phone call was pivotal in the trial.  Here, she answers for us what the prosecutor attempted to prove. 


Becoming an "advocate" for telling people not to look their infants in their cars is part of the overall profile of guilt.  The subtle blaming of the child, the babysitter, the phone, etc, all indicate as much.  


One may consider the worth of attending a seminar to have someone who chose not to make her child a priority  lecture you to not to forget your child.  

If you wish for training in detecting deception, please visit Hyatt Analysis Services.  



Friday, June 23, 2017

Anonymous Letter To Islamic Center, Portland Maine



What can we identify about the author of this anonymous letter sent to an Islamic Center in Maine?

A letter is a statement which reveals four things about the author:

1.  The Author's Background
2.  The Author's Experiences in Life
3.  The Author's Priority or priorities/motive in sending the letter
4.  The personality traits of the Author 


Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Analysis: Derek Morris Accused of Domestic Violence

Kristen Maria has made allegations of Domestic Violence against major league baseball player,  to  Derek Norris.    Major League baseball is investigating.  I have left the statements up without analysis to allow for review.  Here is a basic conclusion for you to consider.  

Context:  

She posted her accusation  on social media. 

 About a week later, he responded to reporters.  


Here are both statements; one from social media, and the other to reporters.  

  What can we know from both statements? 



ON SUNDAY EVENING, I WAS EMOTIONAL. I HAD SPENT FOUR YEARS WORKING TO FINISH MY DEGREE WHILE RIDING A ROLLER COASTER OF LIFE. THIS MORNING, AFTER READING A RESPONSE, DENYING MY “ALLEGATIONS” OF A LIFE CHANGING MOMENT, MY EMOTIONS TURNED TO ANGER. BUT WHAT DID I EXPECT? AS THIS SITUATION IS ALL TOO COMMON IN THE WORLD, NOT JUST THE WORLD OF SPORTS, BUT THE WORLD. A PERSON WHO IS ABUSIVE DOES NOT REALIZE THEY ARE, OR THINK THEY ARE. ESPECIALLY, WHEN THE PEOPLE, FANS, FAMILY AND FRIENDS GLORIFY THE PERSON FOR A SKILL THEY SPEND THEIR LIFE PERFECTING. AS I AM WAITING TO HAVE MY FORMAL MEETING WITH THE COMMISSIONER’S OFFICE OF MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL, THE ONLY THING I CAN DO TO CHANNEL MY RACING HEART AND SHAKING HANDS IS TO WRITE OUT MY EXPERIENCE. I WILL NOT LET THE MEDIA OR ANY OTHER AVENUE ALTER MY EXPERIENCE. IT CANNOT BE ALTERED, MY EXPERIENCE FOREVER SHAPED ME AND NO AMOUNT OF DENIAL WILL CHANGE THE NIGHTMARES I HAVE, THE INSECURITIES I HAVE AND THE PASSION I HAVE, TO HELP THIS NOT HAPPEN TO ANYBODY ELSE. A SICKENING AREA OF THE WORLD WE LIVE IN NEEDS TO HAVE MORE LIGHT SHED ON IT. AND I HOPE TO DO THAT. I HOPE MULTIPLE WOMEN CAN READ THIS AND GET OUT OF CONTROLLING SITUATIONS, ABUSIVE SITUATIONS AND MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY DRAINING SITUATIONS.
BEFORE I RELIVE THE NIGHT THAT CHANGED MY LIFE, I WANT TO REITERATE SOMETHING. I WAS DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH DEREK. I STILL FEEL LOVE IN MY HEART FOR HIM. I WISH I DIDN’T, BUT I DO. I STILL HAVE NIGHTS WHERE I THINK ABOUT US FIRST MEETING AND HOW I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT JUST TO TALK TO HIM ON THE PHONE. WE STARTED DATING WHEN I WAS 19, AFTER A HARD, LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP, WE SEPARATED FOR ABOUT A YEAR.  WE RECONNECTED AND SHORTLY AFTER, GOT ENGAGED. DEREK WAS NOT A LOVEY DOVEY, EMOTIONAL TYPE, BUT HE WAS FUNNY. HE WAS THE MOST AUTHENTIC PERSON I’VE CAME ACROSS, NOT CHANGING HIS PERSONALITY FOR ANY PERSON, REPORTER OR FAN. HE WAS WONDERFULLY SARCASTIC AND HE WAS THE HARDEST WORKER I HAVE EVER MET. HIS CAREER WAS HIS LIFE, AFTER GAMES, HE WOULD STAY UP STUDYING FOR THE NEXT ONE. HE WAS DEDICATED, DETERMINED AND FOCUSED. HE IS AN EXTREMELY TALENTED ATHLETE AND SPENT HIS WHOLE LIFE TRAINING TO BE JUST THAT. NOBODY SHOULD EVER TAKE THAT AWAY FROM HIM. THE LAST YEAR OF OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS NOT A GOOD ONE THOUGH, A LARGER CONTRACT WAS SIGNED, MORE PRESSURE TO PERFORM WAS PLACED ON HIM AND MORE PEOPLE HAD OPINIONS ON EVERY ASPECT OF HIS LIFE. IT IS FUNNY, EVEN AFTER BEING TREATING WRONG, DISRESPECTED AND PHYSICALLY ABUSED, I STILL FIND MYSELF MAKING EXCUSES FOR HIS ACTIONS. MAYBE IF I JUST DIDN’T WAKE UP AND CHECK ON HIM THIS WOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED. MAYBE IF I WAS A LITTLE MORE FUN AND LESS UP TIGHT I WOULD HAVE WANT TO STAY UP AND HAVE DRINKS WITH HIM. MAYBE HE DID THIS BECAUSE HE WAS SO STRESSED, HAVING AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF PRESSURE ON HIM. MAYBE HE LOVED ME SO MUCH, HE DIDN’T WANT ME TO SEE HIM DOING SOMETHING SO HURTFUL. MAYBE WHEN HE IS DONE WITH BASEBALL, THINGS WILL BE BETTER BECAUSE HE WILL HAVE A DIFFERENT LIFESTYLE. SO MANY “MAYBE’S” TO TRY AND CHANGE A TERRIBLE NIGHT.
ON OCTOBER 20TH, 2015 DEREK AND I WERE AT OUR HOME IN WICHITA, KS. WE HAD BEEN SITTING OUT ON OUR PATIO AND DEREK HAD BEEN DRINKING. AS IT GOT LATE I WENT TO GO TO BED AND DEREK WENT DOWNSTAIRS, AS HE WAS STILL DRINKING. I REMEMBER WAKING UP TO HIM KNEELING AT THE BED TELLING ME HOW PRETTY I WAS AND SINGING “SLOW JAMS” TO ME, BUT I COULDN’T KEEP MY EYES OPEN. I WOKE UP A LITTLE WHILE LATER. I’M NOT SURE HOW LONG IT HAD BEEN. I FELT THAT SOMETHING WAS NOT RIGHT AND I WENT DOWNSTAIRS TO FIND DEREK ON THE PHONE. HE SEEMED STARTLED AND STARTED TALKING “SPORTS” TO THIS PERSON ON THE PHONE. I TOOK THE PHONE AND HEARD A FEMALE’S VOICE STATING, “ARE YOU GOING TO TALK TO ME”. I KNEW WHO IT WAS BECAUSE I HAD SEEN TEXTS AND CAUGHT HER CALLING DEREK BEFORE. I TOOK HIS PHONE AND WALKED UP OUR STAIRS TO TRY AND GET THIS GIRL TO SPEAK TO ME. I APPROACHED OUR KITCHEN ISLAND WITH THE PHONE IN MY HAND AND DEREK APPROACHED ME FROM BEHIND AND PUT ME IN A CHOKE HOLD. AT THIS TIME, I THOUGHT HE WANTED THE PHONE. I THREW THE PHONE ONTO THE KITCHEN ISLAND AND TRIED TO GET AWAY. DEREK THEN GRABBED ME BY THE BACK OF MY HAIR TO PULL ME BACK TO HIM. HE EVENTUALLY LET GO AND AS I TURNED AROUND HE GRABBED ME BY MY UPPER ARMS SO I COULDN’T LEAVE AS HE TRIED TO DRUNKENLY EXPLAIN THAT HE WASN’T TALKING TO ANOTHER FEMALE.


AFTER THIS I TRIED TO GO TO OUR BEDROOM TO GET MY PHONE TO CALL MY MOM SO SHE COULD COME HELP ME. HE STOOD IN FRONT OF ME CORNERING ME SO I COULD NOT GET TO MY PHONE. HE KEPT TRYING TO TALK TO ME AND DENY WHAT HE WAS DOING. I EVENTUALLY COULD GRAB MY PHONE AND GET INTO OUR GUEST ROOM AND LOCK THE DOOR. I GRABBED MY SUITCASE AND CALLED MY MOM SO SHE COULD COME GET ME.
MY MOM AND HER HUSBAND SHOWED UP AND TOOK ME BACK TO THEIR HOME. DEREK CALLED MY MOM AND WAS TALKING TO HER ON THE PHONE. HE CALLED HER AGAIN ONCE WE REACHED MY MOM’S HOUSE. I DON’T KNOW DETAILS OF WHAT THEY TALKED ABOUT. I DO KNOW THAT HE WAS SO UPSET BY THE SITUATION THAT HIS PARENTS CAME OVER TO THE HOUSE TO BE WITH HIM AND TALK TO HIM.
A WEEK LATER DEREK’S BEST FRIEND WAS GETTING MARRIED AND DEREK WAS IN THE WEDDING. I WENT TO THE WEDDING, I ROAD WITH HIS PARENTS. ON THE WAY, THERE, I ASKED IF THEY HAD ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN US. HIS DAD MADE COMMENTS SUCH AS, “I DID NOT RAISE MY SON THAT WAY.” HIS MOM MADE THE COMMENT OF, “THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING DEEPER GOING ON.”
                I MOVED BACK INTO OUR HOME SOME SHORT TIME AFTER. BUT THINGS WERE NOT THE SAME. I REMEMBER CALLING DEREK’S MOM BAWLING MY EYES OUT THINKING “I HAD SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME” AND THAT IS WHY DEREK AND I HAD ISSUES. BELIEVE ME, I STRUGGLED WITH ANXIETY, DEPRESSION AND AN EATING DISORDER. I DID AND STILL DO HAVE THINGS WRONG WITH ME. BUT, NOTHING WILL EVER BE SO WRONG WITH ME THAT I DESERVED TO BE TREATED IN SUCH A WAY. EVEN AFTER DEREK HAD LAID HIS HANDS ON ME IN SUCH AN AGGRESSIVE WAY, I WANTED TO DO WHATEVER I COULD TO FIX US, TO MAKE THINGS BETTER. I WAS HOLDING ON TO A LOVE AND PERSON THAT WAS NO LONGER THERE. THAT IS WHAT MAKES DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, PHYSICAL ABUSE OR MENTAL ABUSE SCARY. IT IS DONE TO US BY THE PERSON WE LOVE MOST IN THE WORLD.
                THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TOO OFTEN. WOMEN START IN A LOVING RELATIONSHIP AND FOR WHATEVER REASON, WORK, FAMILY, FINANCES, ALCOHOL OR STRESS, THE RELATIONSHIP CHANGES. BUT, BECAUSE OF HOW WE ARE TALKED TO AND HOW WE ARE TREATED WE FEEL WE CANNOT LEAVE, WE FEEL WE CAN CHANGE THIS PERSON, OR WE CAN CHANGE OURSELVES SO THE PERSON WILL LOVE US ENOUGH TO CHANGE THEMSELVES.
                WHEN I WROTE MY POST ON SUNDAY EVENING, I FELT EMPOWERED. I WAS SO PROUD OF GETTING OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP THAT WAS NOT RIGHT FOR ME. I WAS PROUD THAT I LEFT WITH NOTHING AND COULD BUILD MY LIFE OVER. I WAS PROUD I COULD FINALLY FIND THE COURAGE TO SAY THAT I WAS HURT, DAMAGED, SCARRED AND SCARED BUT STILL FOUND A WAY TO CREATE A LIFE FOR MYSELF. ALL I WANTED TO WAS TO SHARE THAT. I WANT MORE PEOPLE TO KNOW, THEY CAN CHANGE THEIR CIRCUMSTANCES AT ANY TIME. I STILL FIND MYSELF HESITANT TO SHARE WHAT HAPPENED, BECAUSE, “IT WASN’T THAT BAD”. I DIDN’T BLEED, I DIDN’T BREAK BONES, I WAS NOT HIT, KICKED OR THROWN TO THE GROUND. I QUESTION, IF MY EXPERIENCE IS POWERFUL ENOUGH TO HELP WOMEN. IS GOING THROUGH THIS WORTH THE OUTCOME? MY INTENTION IS NOT MAKE THE MAN I LOVED, AND STILL HAVE LOVE IN MY HEART FOR, LOOK LIKE A MONSTER, BECAUSE HE ISN’T. LIFE CHEWED HIM UP AND SPIT HIM OUT JUST AS IT DID TO ME. I AM SURE IF HIS WORK, FAMILY, FINANCE AND STRESS SITUATIONS WERE DIFFERENT, THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT. BUT THEY WEREN’T, AND I HAD WORDS HURT ME AND HIS TOUCH HURT ME. I WILL FOREVER HAVE THAT SHAPE WHO I AM. ALREADY, WOMEN HAVE REACHED OUT TO ME LIVING IN SIMILAR CIRCUMSTANCES, MANY MUCH MUCH WORSE THAN I COULD IMAGINE. WITH THOSE INTERACTIONS, I KNOW, THAT PUTTING MYSELF OUT THERE TO SHARE WILL HELP OTHERS TO FIND A WAY TO LEAVE, START OVER AND CREATE SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL.


Here is Derek Norris statement:

 "First, I want to be absolutely clear that abuse of any form, is completely unacceptable. Allegations regarding this issue are a very serious matter and should not be taken lightly under any circumstances. That being said, in this circumstance, the comments made by my ex-fiancee could not be further from the truth. I have NEVER been physically or emotionally abusive towards her, or anyone else in my life.I plan to go above and beyond to assist MLB with their investigation into this matter."





Analysis Conclusion:

There have been some astute comments on the blog, including one who took the time to measure the form of the statement which made it "unreliable" on its form.  

Unreliable, as a status, does not necessitate deception, but puts the analyst on alert for possible deception.  

Deception is not error.  In order to be deception, one must intend to slant, color or portray something in the element of which it is not.  It must be intentionally  or knowingly done.  

Once the form is recognized, we must then seek to learn:

a.  why it is unreliable 
b.  what parts of it may be unreliable 
c.  what does the form reveal about priority 
d.  what parts are reliable.  

A statement like this will have an emotional impact upon the reader/analyst.  

Many comments show that the reader does not like the subject.  This is why we train through such statements because even when motive is evident and illicit, we do not conclude deception by motive.  

Let's look at her statement from a distance; that is, not close up analysis.  

1.  Context:  

 First note that it is lengthy, written in all capitalization, and was not a police statement, but a statement posted on social media:  it is public.  The message is not to Derek Morris, but to the general public.  

Its capitalization makes it difficult to read and is used to gain even more attention. 

Its length is considerable which is suggestive of emotion.  

2.  Priority  

That it is written to the public, and not to Derek nor to the police, already suggests priority.  

We note where she begins her statement: 


ON SUNDAY EVENING, I WAS EMOTIONAL.


This is where the domestic violence began. 

This may sound absurd but remember:  we are not dealing with reality.  We are dealing with the subject's verbalized perception of reality.  To her, this violence began Sunday evening and with her emotion.  

Did you notice that the statement did not begin with the pronoun "I"?

This, too, is a reminder that reliability within the statement is in question, just as the form itself. 

Form: 

When a person speaks or writes from experiential memory, there is a natural psychological breakdown of an event based statement:

25% of the words will be introductory 
50% of the words will be about the event; that is, what happened. 
25% of the words will follow the event and tell us "what happened next."

For example:

"I was walking in the park on Sunday night at 10PM.  A man told me he needed $20 for bus fair to get home. I said I didn't have any money and he pushed me to the ground and kicked me in the stomach. I yelled for police and he ran off. I called 911 and they came."

Form:

The "main event" is the assault.  It is "what happened" to him.  

This is 58 words in length. 

"I was walking in the park on Sunday night at 10PM" is 11 words, or a bit above 10%   11 out of 58 is near 20% 

When the man enters:   33 words about the assault  with is near 56% 

14 words after the assault    24 %

This is to answer "What happened, next?" after he answered, "what happened?" for us.  

The balance is 20/56/24

This is close to the psychological 25/50/25 and is "reliable" on its form.  It does not mean it is truthful, but we begin noting that it is likely to be reliable.  Did you notice it began with the pronoun "I"? This means that psychologically, the subject is "present" in a very strong manner.  

The overwhelming number of deceptive statements are heavily weighted in the introduction.  

Her statement is 1539 words.  

What is its form?

She uses 740 words before she gets to the assault.  

This is 48% introduction.  This is unreliable on its form and it is consistent with many deceptive statements.  

Next:  the assault is the "event" of the statement.  It is not the priority of the statement.  This is what throws off readers.  

The assault is 191 words.  This is only 12% of her words. 

608 after come after. 

The priority of this public post is not Domestic Violence. 

With only 12% of her words dedicated to what happened, we must now do two things:

1.  Analyze the words of the alleged assault to see if she is truthful or deceptive

2.  Learn why the event (D/V) is such a minor part of her account .


1.  The Alleged Assault:


I TOOK HIS PHONE AND WALKED UP OUR STAIRS TO TRY AND GET THIS GIRL TO SPEAK TO ME. 

I APPROACHED OUR KITCHEN ISLAND WITH THE PHONE IN MY HAND AND DEREK APPROACHED ME FROM BEHIND AND PUT ME IN A CHOKE HOLD. AT THIS TIME, I THOUGHT HE WANTED THE PHONE. I THREW THE PHONE ONTO THE KITCHEN ISLAND AND TRIED TO GET AWAY. DEREK THEN GRABBED ME BY THE BACK OF MY HAIR TO PULL ME BACK TO HIM. HE EVENTUALLY LET GO AND AS I TURNED AROUND HE GRABBED ME BY MY UPPER ARMS SO I COULDN’T LEAVE AS HE TRIED TO DRUNKENLY EXPLAIN THAT HE WASN’T TALKING TO ANOTHER FEMALE.



There are portions here that are reliable.  Note the past tense verbs and the appropriate pronoun usage.  

For example:  
The choke hold is reliable. 
Her throwing of the phone is reliable. 
Him grabbing her by the back of the hair is also reliable. 

However, the sensitivity indicators tell us that there is more here than what she is reporting.  

This is consistent with the form of the statement:  Unreliable. 

Note "approached" is not "grabbed" but the action just prior to.  This is an area of missing information.  

She has a need to explain "why" (in blue) he did certain things.  This is very sensitive information.  

The need to explain why something was done, in an open statement that reports an event must be explored for missing information. 

It took her  a great deal of time to get to the statement which reduces its reliability on the whole. 

She reliably reports what he did, while withholding information of what she did.  Note both "approached" and "eventually" share the element of time.  This is where the brain is considering what took place over this elapsing period of time but does not want to report it. 

Note also the editorializing of the event with, in the midst of an assault, she reports what he was thinking.  

Derek Morris' denial is unreliable.  

What does this tell us?

1.  She is telling the truth about him assaulting her. 
2.  She is withholding information about what she did to him. 
3.  Her motive is exploitation through publicity.  

What do we know about her?

She is intelligent and she is manipulative. 

A deeper analysis of the wording suggests a narcissistic and self absorbed manipulator, including her triangulation with his family, and the appeal to other women.  She seeks to exploit the situation while portraying herself as magnanimous in her generous treatment of him.  

Readers struggled with this because her motive and personality are overwhelmingly stated.   The gratuitous appeal to women as victims and herself as dedicated to helping them also impacts us. 

The "screaming" capitalization as well as the context and length reveal a deceptive and conniving manipulator who is seeking to cash in on his fame.  

She does a disservice to victims of Domestic Violence in this "Gloria Allred" like publicity stunt, as she seeks to gain notoriety at his expense.  

She is "front and center" of the statement, proud of herself and using emotional manipulation to target specific readers.  Follow her pronouns to see emphasis.  

The language she uses regarding personal impact does not appear to be truthful either.  She writes as if this is the best thing that could have ever happened to her.  This, too, is insulting to victims.  

Morris put his hands on her in anger.  For this, he is very likely to suffer consequences to his career.  

It is very likely that she, too, put her hands on him.  She is very likely to profit from this.  

I and other analysts do pro bono work for victims of Domestic Violence.  It is cases like this in which cynicism can enter.  

Cynicism harms victims. 

There is a reason why so few words were used to describe the assault and why it took her so long to get there. 

Derek Morris' account of what happened may fill in the blanks.